Monthly Archives: August 2007

Is that my laptop?

Picture this … you’re going through the security checkpoint at an airport … you’ve taken your laptop out of your bag and sent it through the x-ray machine.

You get through the metal detector … and find TWO laptops, identical in appearance, at the end of the x-ray machine.

Which one is yours?

Something like this happened a number of years ago … I was traveling for business, went through security, and there were two Dell Inspiron 8100’s at the end of the x-ray machine. Another guy and I were looking at both laptops trying to figure out which one was ours. The other guy noticed that one of the laptops didn’t have a floppy drive … and he knew that his did have a floppy (mine had a spare 2nd battery). Just to be on the safe side, he booted his up and determined that the one he had was indeed his own. We laughed about it briefly and went to our respective flights.

An acquaintance of mine wasn’t so lucky once … he was on a business trip to Europe … he went through security, grabbed the first laptop that looked like his, and headed over to his flight … but it turns out the laptop he grabbed wasn’t his. When he was on the plane, already over open ocean, he booted his laptop up and tried to login … but couldn’t. Then he noticed it wasn’t his name on the Windows XP login box. Talk about a panic. He ended up having to buy a new laptop at his destination, and getting his reference material sent to him via overnight shipment.

Want a proof positive way to avoid this kind of problem? Take your business card and tape it to the inside of your removable battery (or the bottom of a removable CD/DVD drive).

It’s important that the business card be taped … so it doesn’t fall off and it’s clear that it couldn’t have just been slipped there.

It’s also not a bad idea to put something identifiable on the outside of the case, so you know you’re grabbing the right laptop. This could be something as simple as a piece of colored tape.

Now, if there is ever confusion about who owns a laptop, you just pop out the battery and you can quickly determine which laptop is yours.

Copyright Humor

Who said the U.S. Government doesn’t have a sense of humor?

How do I protect my sighting of Elvis?
Copyright law does not protect sightings. However, copyright law will protect your photo (or other depiction) of your sighting of Elvis. Just send it to us with a Form VA application and the filing fee. No one can lawfully use your photo of your sighting, although someone else may file his own photo of his sighting. Copyright law protects the original photograph, not the subject of the photograph.

What Does Copyright Protect?

Some Computer Humor

I found this somewhere on the ‘net a while ago … thought it might be worth reposting:

  • There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.
  • A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
  • The programmer’s national anthem is ‘AAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!’.
  • At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer, you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.
  • Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released. Beta is Latin for “still doesn’t work.”
  • Computer analyst to programmer: “You start coding. I’ll go find out what they want.”
  • Computer Science: solving today’s problems tomorrow.
  • Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
  • Hit any user to continue.
  • I wish life had an UNDO function.
  • If your computer says, “Printer out of Paper,” this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the “OK” button.
  • It said “Insert disk 3…” but only 2 fit in the drive.
  • Microsoft Windows: computing While U Wait
  • 665.9238429876 – Number of the Pentium Beast
  • I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
  • My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
  • Programming graphics in X is like finding sqrt(pi) using Roman numerals.
  • “To know recursion, you must first know recursion”
  • Life’s unfair – but root password helps!
  • Mountain Dew and doughnuts… because breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
  • Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
  • “Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
  • Intel: We put the “um…” in Pentium.
  • Helpdesk tip #2: When the support analyst says “Click…”, wait for the rest of the sentence.
  • BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding
  • BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
  • As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
  • Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
  • Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…..
  • Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…
  • All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
  • A good programmer makes all the right mistakes.
  • Managing programmers is like herding cats.
  • “There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not true.”
  • “A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.”
  • C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
  • A computer scientist is someone who, when told to “Go to Hell,” sees the “go to,” rather than the destination, as harmful.
  • 1010011010 – The binary number of the Beast
  • APATHY ERROR: Don’t bother striking any key. Application has reported a “Not My Fault” in module KRNL.EXE in line 0200:103F
  • “The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware type with a software patch and a user with an idea.”
  • There are 10 types of people in the world … those that understand binary and those that do not.