Star Trek

Ginny, Steve, and I went to see the new Star Trek movie last night.

If you are a fan of the original series, next generation, or any of the follow on shows … you are going to be in for a major disappointment.

If you’re into flashy visuals and 90210 characters, you’re going to love it.

This “Star Trek” movie is not ‘based’ on the original Star Trek … it’s more like “Inspired by” the original.  Possibly even ‘general concept inspired by’ the original Trek.

It rips so many of the established ideas to shreds it’s not even funny.

Yeah, the major characters are there … Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Scotty, Sulu, Chekov, and Uhura … and of course the Enterprise … but the major themes that back up the concept of Star Trek are tossed out the window.

(warning, spoilers ahead)

For one … everything is bright & shiny … including the chrome plated throttle for the warp drive.  Many of the lights on the bridge have a halo effect that give the set a surrealistic look.

The Enterprise itself doesn’t look bad … even if most of the engineering spaces have a steam punk look.

Some of the casting was done OK … but a lot of it was just plain dumb.

Kirk: Not bad.

Spock: Also not bad … but there’s no way in the world that Spock would have a 5 o’clock shadow all the time.  The original Spock had WAY more emotional control.

McCoy: Not too bad … although the persona seemed very forced.

Sulu: Eh, maybe.

Scotty: Also a maybe.

Chekov: Forget it.  Not even close.  Walter Koenig did a far better job.  He had the accent but it wasn’t so thick that it couldn’t even be understood by the computer.

Uhura: Could have been OK … but there was no need to have her strip down to bra and panties.

Christopher Pike: Probably the only GOOD job of casting in the entire show.

As for the plot … oy … talk about putting something through the blender.

(Final warning on spoilers … leave now if you don’t want to hear about it)

OK … here goes.

• There’s no way in the world that Pike would have promoted Kirk, who wasn’t even an ensign yet, to first officer serving under Spock.
• When Kirk commits insubordination … you don’t put him in an escape pod and eject him from the ship … you throw him in the BRIG.
• When Kirk gets BACK to the ship … and gets Spock to demonstrate that he is emotionally compromised (by almost beating Kirk to a bloody pulp, in a fit of rage), he doesn’t get to take over as captain.  There has to be other people on the ship who have more experience and rank.
• The Spock / Uhuru relationship was completely out of place.
• I can’t believe they destroyed the planet Vulcan (I warned you about spoilers).   There was just no need for that.
• Transporter technology sure has gotten worse … even after they had a lock on Amanda (Spocks mother), it took them 30 seconds to start the transport … and, in that 30 seconds, she fell and they lost the transporter lock?
• Chekov was not 17 years old.  There’s no way a 17 year old would be navigator on a star ship.  Well, OK, Wesley Crusher was the exception … but he was just an ‘acting’ ensign.
• After Pike is captured by the romulan “Nero” (yeah, a likely name for a alien) and gets a slug put in his head to make him to give up the defense security codes … that whole plot line is completely forgotten.  Did Pike give up the codes?  What about the slug in his head?
• The product placement in the first third of the movie was WAY to blatant.  I hope that Nokia and Anheuser-Busch gets their moneys worth.

Personally, I think Abrams did a absolutely crappy job of telling the Star Trek story … he either had no idea what Star Trek is about … or didn’t care.  Paramount needs to retire the franchise … or put it on the shelf for about 10 years before trying again.