I was chatting with my friend Jim today and he commented …
you know what would be a cool job? working on the new big particle collider
To which I responded …
Just so long as the job title wasn’t “Target”.
OK, maybe you had to be there.
Author Archives: David
Is that my laptop?
Picture this … you’re going through the security checkpoint at an airport … you’ve taken your laptop out of your bag and sent it through the x-ray machine.
You get through the metal detector … and find TWO laptops, identical in appearance, at the end of the x-ray machine.
Which one is yours?
Something like this happened a number of years ago … I was traveling for business, went through security, and there were two Dell Inspiron 8100’s at the end of the x-ray machine. Another guy and I were looking at both laptops trying to figure out which one was ours. The other guy noticed that one of the laptops didn’t have a floppy drive … and he knew that his did have a floppy (mine had a spare 2nd battery). Just to be on the safe side, he booted his up and determined that the one he had was indeed his own. We laughed about it briefly and went to our respective flights.
An acquaintance of mine wasn’t so lucky once … he was on a business trip to Europe … he went through security, grabbed the first laptop that looked like his, and headed over to his flight … but it turns out the laptop he grabbed wasn’t his. When he was on the plane, already over open ocean, he booted his laptop up and tried to login … but couldn’t. Then he noticed it wasn’t his name on the Windows XP login box. Talk about a panic. He ended up having to buy a new laptop at his destination, and getting his reference material sent to him via overnight shipment.
Want a proof positive way to avoid this kind of problem? Take your business card and tape it to the inside of your removable battery (or the bottom of a removable CD/DVD drive).
It’s important that the business card be taped … so it doesn’t fall off and it’s clear that it couldn’t have just been slipped there.
It’s also not a bad idea to put something identifiable on the outside of the case, so you know you’re grabbing the right laptop. This could be something as simple as a piece of colored tape.
Now, if there is ever confusion about who owns a laptop, you just pop out the battery and you can quickly determine which laptop is yours.
Copyright Humor
Who said the U.S. Government doesn’t have a sense of humor?
How do I protect my sighting of Elvis?
Copyright law does not protect sightings. However, copyright law will protect your photo (or other depiction) of your sighting of Elvis. Just send it to us with a Form VA application and the filing fee. No one can lawfully use your photo of your sighting, although someone else may file his own photo of his sighting. Copyright law protects the original photograph, not the subject of the photograph.
Some Computer Humor
I found this somewhere on the ‘net a while ago … thought it might be worth reposting:
- There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.
- A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
- The programmer’s national anthem is ‘AAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!’.
- At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer, you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.
- Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released. Beta is Latin for “still doesn’t work.”
- Computer analyst to programmer: “You start coding. I’ll go find out what they want.”
- Computer Science: solving today’s problems tomorrow.
- Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
- Hit any user to continue.
- I wish life had an UNDO function.
- If your computer says, “Printer out of Paper,” this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the “OK” button.
- It said “Insert disk 3…” but only 2 fit in the drive.
- Microsoft Windows: computing While U Wait
- 665.9238429876 – Number of the Pentium Beast
- I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
- My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
- Programming graphics in X is like finding sqrt(pi) using Roman numerals.
- “To know recursion, you must first know recursion”
- Life’s unfair – but root password helps!
- Mountain Dew and doughnuts… because breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
- Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
- “Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
- Intel: We put the “um…” in Pentium.
- Helpdesk tip #2: When the support analyst says “Click…”, wait for the rest of the sentence.
- BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding
- BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
- As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
- Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
- Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…..
- Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…
- All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
- A good programmer makes all the right mistakes.
- Managing programmers is like herding cats.
- “There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not true.”
- “A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.”
- C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
- A computer scientist is someone who, when told to “Go to Hell,” sees the “go to,” rather than the destination, as harmful.
- 1010011010 – The binary number of the Beast
- APATHY ERROR: Don’t bother striking any key. Application has reported a “Not My Fault” in module KRNL.EXE in line 0200:103F
- “The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware type with a software patch and a user with an idea.”
- There are 10 types of people in the world … those that understand binary and those that do not.
Interesting Weekend
We had a very interesting weekend … did some fun stuff … saw some thing interesting, and encountered a new situation.
First, the fun stuff … we went to the Darwin exhibit at the Field Museum with my parents. It was quite interesting and informative. It covered both his Theory of Evolution, his personal life, and some discussion of Evolution in general. Did you know that he almost didn’t go on the Beagle voyage? He had asked his father for permission, but it was denied. After some huranging, he got is father to agree that … if Charles could get a reasonable person (in his father’s opinion, of course) to present good reasons for him to go on the voyage, he would allow it. Charles worked with his uncle, who his father apparently thought was reasonable, to put together a point by point rebuttal for all Mr. Darwin’s arguments against going.
After the museum, we decided to go for dinner … we didn’t want to go for Greek food, as that’s what we have a habit of doing. We also didn’t want Chinese, because Ginny and I just had Chinese food.
We decided on Italian … and found a place about two miles west of the loop for dinner. As we were driving there, I spotted a yellow cab that was a Ford Escape Hybrid. Considering how taxis drive, a hybrid vehicle makes a lot of sense. It was a 2008 model, which I’m not a big fan of … but it’s better than anything else. That was the interesting bit.
On to the weird … we got to the restaurant, had to wait a bit of time for a friend to join us, ordered and ate. The food was good. We were ready to leave, asked for the check, and I tried to give the waitress my AMEX card. She waved me off saying that they didn’t take that. So I asked her if Discover was OK. She clarified by saying that they didn’t take ANY credit cards. I only had $20 cash in my wallet. Luckily dad had some cash.
I was kind of shocked … I had never encountered a main-stream restaurant that didn’t take credit cards. I wonder what they do if someone shows up, orders, eats, but doesn’t have enough cash?
Small Change
I’ve move this blog over to www.geekyramblings.org … just for the heck of it.
I am ‘Technologically Useful’!
I scored 8 out of 10 on How Useful Are You?
In with the new
Well so far so good … the new driveway was poured today. The construction crew, seven guys, were here fairly early and got to work immediately. It took longer than I thought it would, but they sure knew what they were doing.
Here’s what the driveway looked before … it was pretty wavy and cracked. It had been resealed once, but that didn’t help a lot. It was hard to shovel and the snow thrower would get caught up on the various dips & cracks.
I applied for the village construction permit, and posted it in the window, about a week later (middle of the next week), I noticed on the web cam that there was a crew breaking up the old driveway. Here’s what it looked like after they were done.
The work itself was kind of like a dance … the guys dumping the concrete were followed immediately by the guys spreading it. Once it was spread, the guys with the float were there to smooth it out. Then the guys with the hand trowels & floats were in to touch it up. Finally the guy with the grooved trowels laid in the expansion joints.
After they were finished, it looked pretty good. Obviously the proof will be when it’s dry, we can drive on it (which will be in about 3 days), and we have a few snows.
I noticed that the contract with the construction company specifically voids their warranty (one year) if we use chemical deicers on it. I’ll have to look into getting it sealed. The folks on DSL Reports Home Improvement forum suggested that I get it sealed in October. It’s probably going to be an ‘every two years’ thing.
Aside from the amount of time & effort it took to get an actual estimate, I’m pretty pleased with it so far. The cost was good, the work was done quickly & professionally, and there was a minimum of fuss.
Out with the old …
… driveway.
Hopefully a new, concrete, driveway will take it’s place in the next few days.
I never liked our driveway … it was asphalt … and had buckled and heaved over the many winters & summers it’s been in place. Plus, last year, we got a notice from the village that we needed to get it resealed (it looked really ratty).
Considering how hard it’s been to get a hold of the company that’s doing the work, I’m quite amazed that it’s gotten even this far.
The construction company that is replacing our driveway is the same one that is rebuilding our street. I had hoped to have the driveway ripped up during the same period that the street was ripped up.
I called the company when they first started removing the street. I was promised that an estimate would be done within a week to 10 days. 10 days later, I had no estimate. I called again, left a message on their voice mail. Called again later in the day, talked to their receptionist, who promised she would walk the message over to the estimating department. Never heard a peep.
Some of our neighbors were getting their driveways replaced also … so I asked one how they got a hold of the company, and was told that their experience was much like mine. The only way to actually get an estimate was to find a supervisor for the job and get them to give me an estimate.
The next day I worked from home for the morning and, as soon as I saw a crew starting to work, I walked up to them and asked for a supervisor. The supervisor called the estimator, who came to our house about 45 minutes later.
The estimate was quite reasonable … about $2.5k … which stands to reason … since they don’t have to bring the crew out, equipment, or materials, out to the job.
The driveways that have already been replaced look nice … I’m hoping ours will be just as nice.
Sure, it can’t hurt
So Ginny and I are making dinner a few minutes ago … just some pasta with a simple sauce.
I’m adding some tomato paste to the sauce … I put in about half the can, and ask Ginny “Should I just use the whole can, if we don’t the rest will just go to waste” … to which Ginny responded, “Sure, it can’t hurt”.
Oh, how wrong she was … as I flicked the spoon full of tomato paste into the sauce pan, a big dolop of very hot pasta sauce splashed out of the pan … landing on my wrist and arm.